It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
