i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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