yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
