STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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