There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
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