We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
