i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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