I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
