i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
