When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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