doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
