Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
