Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
