Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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