Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
