We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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