Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
