I'm lost and stupid without you.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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