party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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