if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
