You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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