you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
