so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
