ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
