We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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