Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
