can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
i think my mom watched the whole time
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
