So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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