birth control should be required to get into college
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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