no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm too high and old for this...
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
