and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
