just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
