ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
