Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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