You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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