after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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