I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I can't put those talents on a resume
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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