It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize