I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
