And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
