walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
i think i just lost a toe
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
