and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
