the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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