Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
