mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
she pinky promised me she was 18
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
