my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
