not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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