it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
