Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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