Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
