He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Send help, water and tortillas.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
