We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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