its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I party with great urgency now.
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