I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
