I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
