so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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