you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
cat food counts as protein by the way
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
