love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
