if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
