i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
