pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
