Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
