Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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