My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Randomize
