We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
