i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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